EN ROUTE.

I am on the way!

On the way to?

Please help me.

Finally second semester of senior year. Woo.

I start to realize I'm on the path to destruction right when I enter. And as I try to retrace my steps, I'm lost and just a little too late. Always.

Whatever, fuck it. I'm damn over it.

Did you know the biggest scars are the ones that the human eye can't detect, notice, or see?

Six year olds laugh an average of 300 laughs a day. Adults only laugh 15 to a 100 times a day. An average person laughs 13 times a day. This makes me sad, but I will laugh anyway.

So, I am on the way!

On the way to?

The Only Way Out is Through.

I'm on a Film Roll.

I think I've got some sort of problem.

I'm in some sort of a "camera phase,"

and I'm obsessed with pictures.

I want a Nikon DSLR, a Fujifilm Instax Mini 7's, an antique film camera, a video recorder, and a voice recorder.

This is so true.

Camera is money.

I like the one, right smack, in the middle.

I wanna play Camera Freeze Tag, haha.

This is me, every single day.

This is my start of the day, every single day.

Running to Ceramics, the stupidest class, all because I am on a tardy contract.

I don't do mornings.

Welcome to my world.
A Misanthrope - One who dislikes humankind.

The definition of me and Jane. Like, get the hell out of our faces.

We're haters, love us.

Sandy, I get you.

And Sandy? I'm rooting for ya'
I don't know if it's because I'm tired, but I'm going to rant.

And maybe it's because I'm tired, and maybe it's that one expression you gave me,

but You Piss Me Off.

Like get out of my face, I'm seriously sick of you. You think you're so much better than everybody else because you hold talents that you think others can't surpass. Just shut up, talking like that almost makes your "talent" useless. Don't tell people what to believe and stubbornly believe that you're always right. People like you are the reason I don't believe and why others don't and hate it. Don't act like you know what's going on in my life just because we've been known each other for so long, because believe if or not, I've completely etched you out of my life. How you use people and how you believe you are so much better than everyone else is stupid. How you go around stubbornly telling people what you believe in is right, how you always need attention, how your always happier when I'm not, how you always have to be better than me, how you always think you're the greatest friend to everybody.

Fuck you.

Maybe, one day, I'll look back and think back on all the good memories we had.

Maybe, I'll end up missing you.

But I highly doubt it.
Because I honestly think I'm a hundred times better off without you.

And I don't mean it to me be hurtful or mean.
Note to self:

Sums up my relationship with Momo, exactly.
You know how whenever we talk bad about our mom's with our friends, a friend begins to bad talk your mom, and we suddenly find ourselves get defensive and get mad at your friend for talking about your mom?

Same case with Momo. I'M the only one allowed to talk negative things about it.

Don't bad mouth Momo in front of me. It's like telling a mother that her son is ugly.

And don't ever tell me Momo is ugly, because to me, Momo is the most cutest cat in the world. It works me up and I want to literally kill the person who says it.

HAHAHA. Do I sound like a cranky cat lady?

Well... I kind of am.

But seriously, don't talk bad about my mom or my cat.
I don't think anybody has any idea how much I'm sick of life. Life, please, please, please, do chill, speed up, make sense and explain "forever." And as a bonus, please make happiness a lot more easier to achieve.
Guess what? I have a English final presentation and essay due on Friday. I haven't started on either. My grade is at a B, and if I worked harder, my final might bump my grade up to an A.
This is going to High School with a bunch of idiot people either wanting to grow up too fast, too immature to understand, think baggy clothes make them look tough, looks are all that matter, going to an Ivy League guarantees absolute success, or are just plain stupid, for ya'.

But I am not all that greater than them. I just might be worse.

You be the judge.
Gotta get this through my head.
LOL, you have no idea how much I can't wait for college.
Six months, please fly past me so I can be out and done with High School.
My college of choice has the most students riding bicycles for transportation than any in the west coast. It's also got a 24 hour library for undergraduates, with over a hundred book stores, cafes, coffee shops, and restaurant. The college, in my terms, requires a billion umbrellas, bright yellow rain coats, and bright yellow rain boots.

It's got my name all over it.

I really don't know.

Somewhere far from here. I hope.

Because we need both a balance of flaws and imperfection, to make something truly perfect.
"People say that you're going the wrong way, when it's simply a way of your own."
I found myself crying

.Miley Cyrus - When I Look at You.


Going through a tie a day, together.

Now that's what I call love.
I didn't cry when I found out Russel's parent's were divorced.

I secretly started to cry when I found out Ellie was dying and when Carl read Ellie's adventures with him.
"Sometimes you have to be apart from people you love,

but that doesn't mean you love them any less.

Sometimes it even makes you love them more."
Guess what I'm thinking of...
SUMMER WITH SPARKLES.
Emma buying a trillion Korean magazines, reading them with ice cream.
gorrrrrrrrrjes.
Making a trillion unforgettable

Always.

LE SOUFFLE AVEC LA LIBERTE.

I don't know you?

The sky is falling, the ground is falling apart.

Standing in two different sides, with the same expression.

I have asked the Heaven's for permission,

I have begged the Heaven's for an answer.

I have yet to receive a respond.

Do you trust me?

So I was thinking...
I have a huge problem trusting people.

I kind of thought I trusted people easily, but actually; I don't. Far from it.

My conversations are able to reach to a certain level of privacy, then my walls are up.

I'm able to open on certain aspects of my life, but I stop on the thing that matters most. To me.

But another thought came up...

I noticed that,

when someone breaks my trust, and I guarantee it,

I never give it back.

What an ironic turn of events.

My trust only goes so far, yet once broken, I close off like a clam.

Slumdog Millionaire's my favorite movie. I love Jamal.

I'm trying to think of something useful, smart, relevant or witty to write about. No luck.
Time is definitely not on my side. I can't decide whether time is going by too fast or if it's passing by too slowly.
I visited UC Berkeley this weekend. I applied for early decision and I got accepted! So they flew me out to check out the school.
Just kidding, I wish. I dropped my cousin off at her apartment and she gave me a tour of her school. Berkeley's a lot more sketchier than I expected. Kind of ghetto. I kind of liked it that way. Would post up pictures but I forgot my digital camera and took my film camera instead.
I hate school, homework, and studying. I don't think anybody can hate it as much as I do. I have an English assignment, not even started, packed and ready to go unfinished for tomorrow. I don't want to college and I never want to study ever again.
I noticed I always end up wanting things I can't get. Most days after getting it, I end up not wanting it.
I have a problem sleeping. It's not even funny. I really hate it.
QQ.
Maybe... Maybe in the summer I'll find a way.
I think Momo missed me while I was up in NorCal. She won't stop following me.
Guess what? The guy who plays Jamal in Slumdog Millionaire has a black belt in Taekwondo! Makes him a hundred times more lovable.
Destiny, fate, free will. I wish I could understand them a lot more. I wonder which one is right.

In the long run,
it would have never worked out anyway.
Wake up and Goodbye.

2010.

Happy New Year!
새해 복 많이 받으세요!
Bonne Année!
สวัสดี ปี ใหม่!
¡Feliz Año Nuevo!
And all the other languages!

Yes, so I was actually planning to write a post on January 1, but I forgot.
So, my New Year was spent with Jane... On the phone. Yep, we talked on the phone for about 3-4 hours and that's how I spent New Year's! Then I ended up staying up the whole night and waiting until it was time to go do the family stuff. Ate ddukgook, sae-bae-ed, got money, took pictures of the babies, talked, played with the babies, laughed at the funny stuff the old people did. The usual family stuff, except my family's just a little bit more crazy.
2010 is a new beginning! I was originally planning on recapping 2009 and talk about what I'm going to change about the new year but I changed my mind. I decided to not look back into the past since 2009 sucked and think more for the future. 2010 was originally supposed to start off great, but as usual I lagged and got nothing done. So, I'm stuck starting 2010 with a fresh start and having to finish what I haven't finished in 2009. Unfortunately, this is my last and final chance. Also kind of fortunate in a weird sort of way. But 2010 is my last and final chance to redeem myself and it's do or die at this point. So, I promise! I promise to start fresh and finish all my late to-do's! I promise!
But anyway, 2010!
It's the start of a new decade! It's the year I FINALLY graduate high school! DLKAlkalsda YASJAHSJ!!!! I can't even express how much I just want to get out of high school and be over and done with it. I can't even, wow. 2010 is when I get to finally get out and do things on my own! I get to book it to Korea with my lovers this year! 2010, I love you already. You will bring me much happiness, despite the stumbles along the way. You will allow me to live with no limitations. You are the newest chapter in my life (and certainly not the last!) and will bring me unforgettable memories. But I know nothing comes free in life and in order for you to give me a great year, I'll have to keep my end of the deal. So, I promise to keep my end of the deal and to finish and fulfill my promises.
2010, bring it on.

10 of my lovers, for the love of 2010.

Ahyoung being the creeper that she is.

Our very own Hwang Tae Kyung faces, hehe.
Making our very own mustaches.
All smiles with them. :)
Random faces.
:) :T o_O
Baby Mama being eaten by the Suga Daddy~
And ruining the moment with the happiest smile of my life. >:]
Trying to make the L.O.V.E letters
cus that's all we got~
For the year of 2010, each other (puke), our goals for together and our own, Summer 2010, Corea, Fall 2010, college, and what's to come!

Forever and ever!!