I know it's just lyrics & beats

But lyrics to me are like infinite peace..

Okay, I know I sound like a freaking no life updating in like 2 days -_-; Haa, but I'm such a huge procrastinator, I don't want to study! And tomorrow is finalllyyyyyyyy the last day of the year!

Hm, I'm reeeeeally confused. I wonder how people know how they know that they like someone. Not having interest in someone but actually liking someone. What kind of emotions do they feel? Does that person make their hearts beat super fast? Just by hearing their names do they feel a rush of emotion coming at them? Do they constantly want to to talk to them? Are they hoping that they'd wear warm or if they've dressed the weather? Do they have a sexual desire(eww.) to be with them? Or do they just enjoy being in the company of them? I've always wondered. What do they feel? I reeeeeally don't get it. -_-;
I've never loved anyone before, and I don't think I've ever truly "liked" anyone before. Stupid people say I've liked a BUNCH, but I haven't. LOL, I just have a weird mindset, and my range of guys is a vassss amount.

Maybe, it's just the way the person makes you feel. Possibly. Maybe they just make you feel different, special, good.

But you never know, they might be like that too every girl/guy. They just might be players. They might be heartless. They might just like hurting girls and messing with their feelings because it's so damn funny.

I don't know, and I hope I'd never ever find out. Maybe after highschool, maybe after college. Maybe when boys learn to grow the fuck up.

Merry Christmas!

more & more jiral.

I reeeeeeeally hate living the same day twice. Well, not exactly living the same day twice, like rewinding back or whatever, but I don't like routines. Always doing the same things, except maybe once in a while a new adventure comes up. I extremely hate it. And not even that, I'm worried about my future plans. o_o; I honestly don't want to wake up every morning having to go to the office and coming home to cook for the little demon children. :T
Haha, I would absolutely die.
The society has gone a bit...weird.
Right when were born we get sent to school for over like... 17 years, and then when you think elementary, middle school, oh & most of all HIGHSCHOOL !!! then you get sent to college, and then you work the rest of your life. :( How sad.

All I know for sure is I do NOT want to do some boring job for the rest of my life.
But I also don't want to go for any competitive job, since I'm the biggest sore loser T_T;
Haha, I'm such a loser.


So, as of now, I have absolutely, no idea, no clue, not even one tiny glimpse of what my life is going to be like in the mere future. It's just pure darkness, a tangled up mess!
Even if I have a dream, they are absolutely impossible, ridiculous, and childish. I should learn to grow up.

Oh what the hell, what can I do?



Have a good thanksgiving everybody!

insomnia.

I think I've got a slight case of Insomnia. Recently, I've been up a lot longer than usual. I used to fall right to sleep right when my head hit the pillow, or I'd think for a few minutes, maybe even a few seconds and then I'd be done for the night. But these days, I'm having trouble falling asleep :T I really don't know why, I'm up for like two hours thinking on & on about something I really don't want to think about. I really hate the feeling of being up for hours thinking of something you've been trying to avoid. My insomnia doesn't end there though, I keep waking up in the middle of my sleep for no apparent reason. I'm up at five in the morning, sweating and worrying over something I can't figure out. On top of that, I miss having my daily dreams. My dreams are always on something I want. It's either that, or my wishes coming true, or a bright and happy future. To the point where I can't tell from my dreams to the reality. Oh, boy.

I've also decided... I don't plan on marrying when I grow older. Pretty random & pretty early to be thinking about it, but I noticed, those marriages you see on tv or the "american dream" are really, really, really just an imagination. I decided that, marrying, is just not for me. I don't get how a certain two people can decide to live with one another forever, or for the rest of their lives. I understand, in the begining, it can be counted as "love," but can you imagine living with that one person for the rest of your life? I probably seem pretty damn stupid saying this, but it's the truth. Honestly, I think I'm able to stay faithful for the rest of my life, but I'm just more worried of the other. It depresses me to the maximum level, to how desperate a person can be. Already a grown man (woman), with children of his(her) own, some already grown, still choose to be attracted to another woman. Even after pledging infront of a crowd of people, even after promising to one another, even after swearing to God or the cross or whatever, one of them still manages to find that it is okay to be attracted to another woman(man).
That sickens me to the biggest extent. It grosses me out more than anything in this fucked up world. I sickens me, grosses me out, and I hate it more than anything.
In shorter words, I absolutely loathe a man(woman) who cheats on his wife(husband), and it makes it even more worse if he's(she's) got grown kids.

정려원

Isn't she absolutely flawless? She's got the perfect skin, perfect body, perfect face, she's absolutely perfect. She's what you would call beautiful. I'd choose her face over anyone's. She absolutely GORJESS. That is what i call a perfect face & body. :T

& Big Bang never fails to amaze me :T I absolutely love their album <3
























If I were to get my hands on her, I'd kill her. I love my mom more than anyone in this whole entire world.

생일축하해 :)

Happy 21st, baby :)
"아무리 슬퍼도, 웃어야만해 난.
힘들고 아파도, 참아야만해 난.
네가 떠나가도, 붙잡지못해 난."
생일축하해요~
내가 지켜줄게, 언제까지<3

Finally, stupid Emma wasn't feeling TOO lazy to not make one; haha. My GORJIESS SEOKYO buddy & I have been planning on making a blogspot for the longest time, but the sucker was too lazy -_-; :)
Wanna know what made us decide to get one?
HAHAHA, she showed me some Korean-American model have it & she modeled with some famous Korean model :D hehe :) amazing, no?
Anyways, Today,
me & emma FINALLY started our "diet-run" today, but we barely even ran -_-; Ohwell. More tomorrow running tomorrow? :)
Okay, I need to hurry up & finish this entry before it turns to Aug. 19 -_-;

kbye :)
오~ 또 생일축하한다! 언젠가 옆에서 지켜줄께. :)