I can slowly feel everything tumbling down. I don't know what it is or how it happens, it just happens. I feel suffocated and tired. Just tired and apathetic about everything. All I want to do is sleep and not have to have any commitments. I can't explain it, it just happens. There's nothing wrong, but why does everything feel so wrong? I don't know why, I don't have much to complain about but everything just feels so mean and unrelenting. I feel like I'm walking on a very narrow path and everything is just crowding around me. I have nothing to complain about but it just happens. How do I explain something that I don't even know myself? The smallest things trigger my biggest down falls and I don't know why. I really thought I had gotten over this, but I feel tired and afraid again. I don't know what it is. I just feel alone and I want somebody to understand me but how can they, when I can't even understand my own feelings? I just want to sleep and sleep and wake up to a different world because I feel like somebody is choking me and not letting me go. It just feels like something or somebody out there just does not want me to be happy and will do anything in their power to bring me down. How do I say it, how many times do I have to repeat myself? It just happens. I can't control it because it comes and goes when it pleases and all I can do is wait for it to pass.

I just want to sleep my life away. I really need somebody to help me fix this problem and understand what the hell is going on in my head.

I just want to be happy.

I wonder how long it'll take for me to become happy with where I stand in life. I feel like I'm always waiting for a certain period of my life to come when I'm not supposed to be waiting for anything, rather I should be striving towards it. I just don't really know exactly where I stand in life and I have so many different goals for myself that I don't really know where to begin.
I want to find some sort of solidarity in my life. I thought I had it, but I'm not too sure anymore. I want to get out of California because if I don't get out now, I feel like I'll always be stuck here. But I didn't want to leave without any anchors, and I really thought that I did have some... But somewhere along the road, I don't know how, but I've lost them. I'm not so broken by this, though. I don't think I really care either. Because I really am done worrying about meddlesome shit.
I just don't really know where my life lies as of now.

I want to start my life.
I wonder when that will come...