Stand for Something or Fall for Anything.

"Usually when people are sad, they don't do anything. They just cry over their condition. But when they get angry, they bring about a change."

-Malcom X

Yeah, I'm mad.

So, get out of my face until I make this right.

And by the looks of it, I think I'm on my own this time around.

Either I've got to try harder or try something else.

If it is meant to be, it eventually will be.

Fuck that.

Fuck destiny, fate, and all that planned shit.

People have the ability to choose their own fate.

Freewill.

I'm mad and I'm fine.

The average person tells four lies a day, and a thousand four hundred sixty lies a year.

A total of eighty-eight thousand by the age of six. And the most common lie is, "I'm fine."

Yeah, go figure.

Cry your eyes out.

I don't stand for animal abuse. I can't stand it.

Any type. But especially? Domesticated cats.

But all in all, animal abuse.

Everything about it riles me up and I will point fingers, no matter what.

It's your job, you need money, it's life, we're humans; we have the upper hand, it's only necessary, animals were made for food.

Fuck off and cry me a river, bitch.

You have a voice, you have a heart, you have a able conscience, you know better.

Too many people will be able to hear your biased side of the story while the animals have absolutely no right to voice out their opinion.

I will voice out for those who don't have a voice.

They have emotions.

Animals are able to feel fear, pain, depression, happiness, love. They're almost human with better intentions.

And as of now? I stand for two things.

Two things that I am confident will get me somewhere.

One, I can only hope and luck will only take me so far because I'm mad.

But this, I will be sure to pursue.

Laying in bed trying to sleep, but my brain won't shut the hell up.

Thanks for tuning in on my late night ramblings.

TGIF & Goodnight.

This Shit is Never Ending.

"It's hard to wait around for something you know might never happen; but it's even harder to give up when you know it's everything you wanted."

Such a long, dragged out week. I missed two days of school, and let's not forget last week's Friday. Skipped third period yesterday. Yet everything is so much more draining this week. Filled with unwanted thoughts, reorganizing thoughts, deleting thoughts, even more unwanted thoughts, new unwanted thoughts, forgetting thoughts, reminiscent thoughts, everything having to do with the thinking process.

Success.

No, nothing important and anything that matters.

Remember Me was a success.

Left school as soon as second ended and drove home to find my wallet, found it. In my car. Good gas, wasted.

Drove to Office Depot bought two packs of paper. Five bucks down the drain.

Talked on the phone for a bit and found myself with fading hope and unwanted thoughts.

Drove to the Americana, drove around the parking lot trying to find a parking spot I'd succeed in. Took quite a while. Got lost in the parking lot, found my way out. Walked over to the theater, bought my ticket. Ten bucks down the drain. Fifteen down, five more to go. Was starving but went in the theater empty handed with thoughts that were already eating my starving mind. Remember Me allowed me to stop thinking for a while, but as soon as I happily realized I'd 'forgotten,' my mind reverted back to what I was trying to not think of. I concentrated my mind on 50% of the movie while the other 50% wandered. Though, Remember Me helped me realize certain things that I believed wasn't true.

Let's just say,

the bad things always end up with the good people.

Ran away from the movie theater as soon as it ended. Walked to Border's with a pace too tiring for me to think of the unwanted. Liked it, ran up the stairs and found the book I was looking for. A ten dollar giftcard and only five bucks left, I could not afford the $14.99 book. Because I might have to pay for parking, didn't take the chance and worried over tax and bought another $7.99 book from the same author. Opted to stay for a few minutes to start the book or to study some of the math I've forgotten in the few days of my languid-ness. Found a seat in the cafe, looked at the name of it. Disgusted, worried, anxious, saddened, I got out of there as soon as possible.

Walked to the parking lot, wandered for a good ten minutes trying to remember where I parked.

Found it, drove down and found out the movie validated three hours of parking. Smiled to myself like an idiot and drove home. Came home, and as I sat in my car waiting a bit to absorb everything, got another phone call. With hope already down and gone, I tried to end the phone call as soon as possible. I didn't want to hear anymore and I didn't want to say anything unnecessary or anything that might come off as if I was losing.

Silly, when the battle had already ended and I had already lost.

Hung up the phone as soon as possible. Tried to get lost into the novel, found my brain wandering unto thoughts I have long put away and forced to never think about.

I fell into a deep sleep. Answering a phone call in between and being an idiot and bailed on yoga.

Woke up at 7:08, only to find an angry mother and an un-showered me. Showered until 7:34, which was considered late apparently. Got my keys taken away, stuck home with wet hair and my book. Missed school again, joy.

Tried to lose myself in the book. Fell asleep yet again, unto a deep sleep.

Sleep is good. Because, when awake, our lives have the tendency to fall apart.

Lost myself in dreams impossible to the world, until I found myself in a different surrounding. Real and possible. Almost as if it wasn't even a dream and reality. My thoughts found me in my dreams and exposed everything I've been trying to forget this past week. In the past I would have found it a dream, but I woke up in a cold sweat from a nightmare.

Found that I had a missed call. I didn't call back. No more of it. No more of hope falling and rising, all to crash further than before. No more.

First week with withdrawals and finding a different path.

Now let me just tell you,

this week is taking a year to end.

Live in the Moments.

Gandhi once said, "Whatever you do in life will be insignificant but it is very important that you do it."

I didn't get that at first, but I think I get it now. Actually, I don't think.

I concur.

You know what I'm going to do?

I'm not going to go to third. Because staying until three is ridiculous. Korean class is ridiculous. School is ridiculous, especially for those opting for a community college. School wastes life, and life's too short. And while I'm out, I'm going to watch a movie. With or without anyone else, I'm going to go watch Remember Me.

Remember Me? Overrated?

Nope, want me to tell you what's in fact, really overrated?

"Sorry."

Most overrated word on the face of this planet.

When a person pulls out the word "sorry," come on, they don't mean it. They only say it to make, not the other, but in fact, themselves feel better.

For what it's worth, "sorry" does not make the other person feel better. You've already done it, no need in apologizing for it. Especially if you don't mean it.

Kind of like promises. "I promise," stop and erase it out of your element.

Almost as overrated as the word "sorry."

No such thing,

You know what?

I'm a hypocritical, bitter bitch. Disregard what I said. Maybe.

"The universe is desperate for you to follow your dreams. You will be surrounded by all the support you need if you choose to see life that way. So many live in fear. It's such a rare moment when one of us wakes up and decides to plunge into the abyss of the unknown that the universe will rejoice and provide everything you need for a successful journey. There will be obstacles, so it's your job to decide how to react to each challenge. I promise you if you keep pressing on you will be presently surprised to find out what lies just on the other side of every perceived 'failure."

-Mastin Kipp

"Half of life is fucking up-- the other half is dealing with it."

-Henry Rollins

WORD UP.

Life's Better When You Decide You Don't Give a Fuck.

Right now, I'm at 2%. One percent for the summer, that slowly seems to be fading because in the end, I'd still be stuck in this for two more years. The other percent for my right to appeal all this shit that happened

98% vanished into thin air and I don't know how to get it back.

I just need to find that Plan B.

100%, I'll be back.

But until then, life goes on.

I have no choice but to go on because even if I don't, life will.

I'm going to have to move along with my 2% until I regain my 98.

No matter how much I hate everything and want to fuck everything over.

Moving along.

One thing I learned though,

I have the two greatest and bestest friends anyone can ask for.

it is what it is.

Tell Me Something I Don't Know.

I wonder when all of this will end?

Let's stop this! Stop all this nonsense!

Blah.

I'm in a bit of a dilemma.

I can't check the mail without having an anxiety attack.

I go outside for a little air and to grab the mail.
I get the air, I walk back in, no mail in hand.

I've been a nervous wreck these past couple of days. Wholly having to do with the mail.

Oh, fabulous.

Far East Movement ft. Jin - For The City

I want a vespa, or a mo-ped. Whatever it's called. A nice yellow one. Ride it around a city with a nice star helmet.

We got more bounce in California~

Just because we've got In & Out.

Number two, with extra onions and chopped chili, Coca-Cola for the drink, and if I'm up for a change or if I got some extra change to spare; Animal Style Fries. Dank.

But you know what?

I've got a bigger obsession with cats.

Gonna have a small apartment with a big balcony when I grow up. And on that balcony, I'll put up a hammock. And on that hammock, I will sit and breathe in fresh air. And as I get that fresh air, I will escape.

When I grow up.

And as girly as it sounds, I kind of like flowers. Yellow Calla Lilies are my favorite. But I kind of like the cliche'ness of a dozen red roses.

Bit of a random post, just needed to greet the month of March, and had to get something off my chest.

It will end, I will be back.