There are three things that are probably the most hardest things a person can go through.
One,
when you have to lie that you're okay when it's not. You've got to put up a front when everything's the opposite of okay. You tell everyone that you really don't care and you laugh it off. You laugh when you shouldn't be so that everyone would believe your lie.
Two,
when you have to hold back tears. You just can not cry in front of everyone. You have to keep rolling your eyes up to hold back tears. Even if you're eyes start to water, you have to quickly make them go away. When you're throat is burning to cry out, you have to swallow hard and force tears to go away.
Three,
when you start lying to yourself. You try to trick your mind thinking everything's okay and everything's going to be fine. But you tell yourself that everyday. It's not going to be okay, and you know it, but you've gotta tell yourself over & over again.
But you know what's even worse? When you've got to go through them all in one day. Not even all in one day, but all day. You've got no time to try thinking things out, and you've got to constantly act happy.
Now, I'm just saying. Don't call me emo.
20090119
edited
You know how you get those days when you never want to do anything? Yeah, today was one of those days. Why am I such a lazy person -_- I took like 18 different naps after eating a bunch of crapfood. Oh man, I'm such a fail.
But you know what? I don't really give a crap.
-HAHA! deleted the most important/longest part!
Feh, these days I'm just not into anything. I honestly don't really give a crap about anything anymore. I don't care if my life is slowly falling apart or not. I'm either too lazy to care or I really just don't give a shit. I don't really give a crap about what people think about me, and I don't know if that's a good thing or not. Highschool is fucking me over and I've lost complete hope in any UC college. I avoid my parent's jansori as much as I can and I don't want to hear people complain. Although, I'm here blogging my complaints. I don't want to get up in the morning and I don't want to do any extra work. Actually, I don't want to do work at all. Eh, oh well, so what.
You know, I feel really bad for cactus's. You know how they're so sharp and prickly on the outside? A lot of people avoid them and refrain from touching them. They don't even smell good. And, not even that, they're fucking butt ugly. They're just crap plants that live in the desert. But you know, inside, some (maybe all, I don't know) cactus's are full of some yummy juice. I don't know, but I know that some birds or whatever eat off cactus's. Which is really sad and also explains a lot of people. People judge so much and they never give the other person a chance. They look at someone and then they automatically think one thought of the person's appearance. Not even bothering to even for a second get to know the person. They look at someone and think he/she's ugly, fat, messy, dirty, uncool. Then they lose total interest to try and want to talk to that person. It's not a priority, they've got better looking people to try to get to know. That's messed up, but it's reality. People, unfortunately, care too much about looks. For most, looks is so much more than what's on the inside. It's sad, but it's the truth. Hell, I've found myself doing that too. I really should stop being such a bitch.
Feh, today is filed with a bunch of my unneeded rants. Oh well, I'm not sleepy anyways.
And what the heck is up with my language today?
But you know what? I don't really give a crap.
-HAHA! deleted the most important/longest part!
Feh, these days I'm just not into anything. I honestly don't really give a crap about anything anymore. I don't care if my life is slowly falling apart or not. I'm either too lazy to care or I really just don't give a shit. I don't really give a crap about what people think about me, and I don't know if that's a good thing or not. Highschool is fucking me over and I've lost complete hope in any UC college. I avoid my parent's jansori as much as I can and I don't want to hear people complain. Although, I'm here blogging my complaints. I don't want to get up in the morning and I don't want to do any extra work. Actually, I don't want to do work at all. Eh, oh well, so what.
You know, I feel really bad for cactus's. You know how they're so sharp and prickly on the outside? A lot of people avoid them and refrain from touching them. They don't even smell good. And, not even that, they're fucking butt ugly. They're just crap plants that live in the desert. But you know, inside, some (maybe all, I don't know) cactus's are full of some yummy juice. I don't know, but I know that some birds or whatever eat off cactus's. Which is really sad and also explains a lot of people. People judge so much and they never give the other person a chance. They look at someone and then they automatically think one thought of the person's appearance. Not even bothering to even for a second get to know the person. They look at someone and think he/she's ugly, fat, messy, dirty, uncool. Then they lose total interest to try and want to talk to that person. It's not a priority, they've got better looking people to try to get to know. That's messed up, but it's reality. People, unfortunately, care too much about looks. For most, looks is so much more than what's on the inside. It's sad, but it's the truth. Hell, I've found myself doing that too. I really should stop being such a bitch.
Feh, today is filed with a bunch of my unneeded rants. Oh well, I'm not sleepy anyways.
And what the heck is up with my language today?
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