I don't know what it is about my obsession with classical music, but it helps. I wish I never quit piano and violin.
Helen Keller once said, "When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us."
Huh, I honestly can't say I'm over that closed door just yet. I don't know if I've let myself step into the new door or happiness. Is it wrong to still look back and hope? Is it wrong to still look back and replay all those memories and wish? Blah, I don't know. I just wish I'd stop. I don't know why I won't give myself the opportunity to find something much better. I say I've let go, but have I really? I don't know, I think I'm more telling myself that. I don't get why my thoughts are still lingering with it though. What is it with me and letting go.
I think I have a hard time trusting people. I don't know how to open up to people. I'm always dying to truly say everything, but I always get kind of stuck. I think I'm scared of the possibility of making myself so much more vulnerable. I think I'm afraid of letting a person enter my life, only to leave. Kind of like how I'm afraid to enter a new door of happiness because it might one day just end up slamming itself closed. Blah, I don't know.
