But I can't say I've got that motivation rush I've been hoping for. But all in all, I am back, yet again to G-RAL over my useless crap. As usual.
It's funny how something so small has impacted me so greatly.
Five years, I waited for something. And I am just a year, no no, months away from actually being able to reach it. Five years, it was considered my 'dream,' my escape to 'happiness,' never ending 'happy chemicals,' a must.
But it's ironic that whenever I find myself thinking of that one dream, I find myself disgusted by it. I find myself angered by it and annoyed of it's lack of ability to understand. I find myself completely in shock with it's brutality and like my mom said, "That's ____ for you, that's how it is, that's how it always will be, and that is who we are."
Nonetheless, whether I am disgusted by it, whether I still find myself irked with the thought of it, it will always stay as my 'dream.'
Because that is not who we are.
That is not who I am.