I am sososoooooo relieved!!
It's done, it's finally over. And by being over, I think I'm finally over it. I'm finished with looking back six/seven months ago and the countless nights I'd stay up and regret. I'm finally over that mountain I've been struggling to get over. And you know what? I don't regret ever putting myself through the climb, I'm almost glad I put myself through all that trouble. I learned so much about myself and people. And I'm still learning how to fully move on and get over it, but I think I've already learned. Yes, it took me six to seven months, but I've learned so much more than I would've if it ended sooner. You know what the best part is?
I can finally breathe again.
For the past months, I felt so trapped. I was drowning myself in regret and good memories that I twisted into bad ones. I lay awake on my bed for hours wishing for time to rewind. I'm so glad I'm over it all. I'm glad I was able to overcome the mountain and I promise, I will never ever put myself through anything like it again.
You know what emotion that I was able to feel again?
That sick happy feeling. The happy feeling that makes your heart jump and giggle by yourself at 7am. The happy feeling that makes your hands sweat (well, mine) and you can't help but keep smiling. The feeling where your heart just can't stop jumping. The happy feeling that makes you jittery and want to squeal with happiness. The happy feeling where you can't sit still and you just have to spazz about it to someone or something, and in my case, Momo. The happy feeling where you can't sleep and you stay up until 8am singing that one certain song. The happy feeling where you peacefully fall asleep after a whole night of a rush of happiness. And the happy feeling that even follows you to your dreams, and your dream ends up with a happy fairytale that makes people sick.
Yeah, I'm so relieved and happy it's even making me sick. I'll explain this weekend or something.
