Sometimes I think I consider some friends a lot more than I should. I think I consider a lot of my friends my 'priorities,' while they simply consider me an 'option.' Which really sucks, but I'd like to think they do it unknowingly. Not true.I think I take friendship a lot more seriously than I had before. I'm not here to sound bitter or talk about past feelings. But I think I've got to thank someone for making me feel this way towards acquaintances to actual friendships.
You see, I would have given my life for this person. Now, I'm not so sure.
I don't hold grudges, and I don't hold onto past fights, drama, etc. After I've forgiven, it's all pretty much forgotten.
I'm really not being bitter, but after considering how much I've cared and gave time to a certain friendship, while the other only considering it to be an option, is something to think about.
Honestly, I'm over it. It's just not something I'm going to forget about. I can't get my point across enough, I'm really not bitter. I just feel that I'd never actually be able to trust the friendship again.
No, I wouldn't give my life up to save this friendship, because I'd more count it as an acquaintance. It's a little harsh, but to think of how long I've considered it to be a friendship, it makes sense... to me.
Considering how much I've learned and how much the 'friendship,' taught me, I'm very thankful to that person.
There was once a time when I asked someone if I should consider my pride or a friendship, and that person gave me one of the greatest advice I've probably ever received. He said exactly this, "Pride in a friendship, is that even a question?!" He told me there should never be pride in a friendship.
Huh, who knew?
But all the while, I still think I hold some strong friendships. Yeah, only about a handful. Possibly even less, but I think that's enough. Like I always tell them, 'we're on a good road to friendship.' Because, I, from the bottom of my heart, believe we are on a good road together.
There's this one friend I've seen everyday this month, except today, er, yesterday? (Tuesday) I don't think she knows how much I consider her a friend. And I might as well tell her here, since I'm too much of a pussy to tell her in person. From our serious talks about friends, college, opportunities, life, to our silly talks about people wearing orange t-shirts, tall beanpoles, losing an earring, and just laughing until our stomach's hurt. I honestly think I'm able to tell you a lot more than I am with others. I've actually confided a lot in you than you probable even know. I've got to thank you for all the good and bad times, and the future goods & bad's, and forever more. If that makes sense. We are on a good road to friendship, my friend.
