Lately I've been feeling utterly disgusted with myself. I feel as if I've grown into a remorseful person. I'm in a constant battle with myself and it's almost as if I am not, who I really am. Strangely, I don't feel like myself. It's as if I'm watching myself go about through the day and shaking my head in disapproval. It's as if my inner demons have come out and I have no control over myself.
In all honesty, I'm deathly afraid.
But what scares me more is I don't seem to know what I'm afraid of.
I'm scared of the future, my sleeping schedule, my tattoos that I wish to etch out of my own flesh, my random desire to simply disappear. I'm scared because I am afraid. And I'm scared of myself.
I don't know what else to say.
I just want to get myself out of whatever the hell I'm feeling and in. I want to change as a person.
I feel hate, evil, dirty, disgust, remorse.
I want this to all end.
