I'm currently reading The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky and currently obsessed with it. Its a short book but I'm trying to savor the reading as much as I can. And the reason I'm writing my blog as a letter to a friend, is exactly because of Charlie. So, bear with me as I get through this phase. And I know I'm blogging quite often these past couple of days. I have quite a lot of time on my hand as I am on break and all I must attend to is work, gym, and playing. I guess I'm having a decent time. Thinking quite a lot.
A peculiar memory came across my mind a few hours ago.
Today is one of my bestest friend's birthday. So, happy birthday to her! And to celebrate, we decided to go eat gogi. I was having a fairly good time and horking down as much meat as possible. Until I got a terrible stomach ache. Indigestion, ate too fast, ate too much, I don't know, all I know is, the worst type of stomachache possible. So I began to sweat bullets and I really thought I was going to die. I don't know if you know this about me but, I am deathly afraid of stomachaches and I hate them more than anything. I don't think I have enough time to revel into those memories tonight, though. Anyway, so after my stomachache calmed down, we were just about ready to leave. And on the drive back, we were all fairly quiet and while I was thinking about my stomachache and how much it hurt, this peculiar memory ran across my mind.
After we got back, I decided to drive myself home and try to get myself feel better. Well, the drive wasn't as graceful as I had to stop my car for a bit because my stomachache came back. But after a few minutes, I decided to suck it up and get home as soon as possible.
This part is quite funny actually because I didn't really understand it myself.
As I was on the drive back home, that one memory scurried across my mind, once more. And I couldn't really get it out of my mind. This is where it gets really funny because at that moment I began to cry. I really began to cry. Tears began to pour down my face and I was choking on my words as I was speaking out loud. I was talking to myself, to God, to no one at all. I'm not a very religious person, but I really began to question God. I was asking him his reasons to his motives, I began to ask myself what I was even talking about, I began to yell at nobody at all. All in about five minutes, I was going through a meltdown and crying my eyes out in my car, when I was simply just trying to get home. I don't know who I was talking to, to be honest. I was really just pouring my heart out to the rain, to my car, to the radio, to God, to myself, to nobody at all.
I don't know how to explain this memory. It wasn't really special anyway. It just added onto the obvious, I don't know why it made me cry so much. I don't want to talk about it tonight, though. Maybe later.
Well, I got home alright and pulled myself together just fine. It was as if nothing even happened and everything was as normal as could be. I don't know why I decided to blog about this. It was just a turn of events, I guess.
Love always,
Yoorin
Yoorin
